Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
