who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Randomize
