were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
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