I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
