im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize