the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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