You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
