I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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