we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
