Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
he shaved USA in his pubs
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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