I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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