so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize