got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
