don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
