Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Randomize
