why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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