I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
