spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
