I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
