the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
no more duck duck goose at the bar
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Randomize
