There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Randomize
