fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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