I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
