I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize