BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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