Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
