dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
honey bunches of taint.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
