Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Randomize
