Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
