did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I love you. Go after that dick
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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