This girl is more easily done than said...
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
