if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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