spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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