are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Boobs speak an international language.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
