puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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