butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
