They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize