you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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