He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize