She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
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