Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
