There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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