Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
