I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize