I can feel you judging me through the phone.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
i out mim tonsoeep
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
