Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Randomize
