Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
