hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
