If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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