literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
