I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize