I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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