Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Randomize
