The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Randomize
