Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Damn victory sex feels great
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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