Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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