my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
It's never too late to be topless.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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