i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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