You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
