I got chris browned last night
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
