Fuck appropriateness.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
