take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
