On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
