Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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