twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize